So here's the conversation I had with the HP Customer Service Representative in their online help chat. Micah's laptop stopped working, so I asked for help. It is still under warranty, but apparently I have mistreated the battery, so they won't send me a new one. WHATEVER! But this conversation was pretty funny, so I thought I'd share.
Valerie Staples : Whenever I turn on the laptop, the screen will not come on, and the indicators by the caps lock and the numbers lock flash on and off.
[An agent will be with you shortly.]
You are now chatting with Aston Mason .]
Aston Mason : Welcome to HP Total Care for notebook. My name is Aston Mason. Please give me a few moments while I review your problem description details.
NOTE: For security reasons, PLEASE DO NOT send credit card information via chat.
Aston Mason : Hello!
Aston Mason : How are you?
Valerie Staples : I am great, how are you doing?
Aston Mason : Glad to know that you are doing great!
Aston Mason : I am doing fine, thank you for asking.
Valerie Staples : well aside from my laptop not wanting to work, :)
Valerie Staples : the interesting thing is the indicators by the numbers lock and caps lock blink four times, pause and then blink four times again
Valerie Staples : it's like my computer is trying to tell me something
Aston Mason : Alright.
Aston Mason : Oh!
Valerie Staples : it IS trying to tell me something isn't it
Aston Mason : Are you there with me online?
Valerie Staples : yes I keep seeing that you are typing a message but nothing ever comes up
Valerie Staples : can you see me?
Aston Mason : Valerie,I wish I could, but I can not. (NOTE: CREEPY!!!!)
Valerie Staples : oh no I mean can you see that I'm typing
Aston Mason : You can check this numbers on a non-Microsoft sticker when you flip the notebook over. Please provide the numbers beside s/n and p/n on the sticker.
Valerie Staples : that last message that I got before are you there with me online is Oh!
Valerie Staples : ok
Valerie Staples : s/n is xxxxxxxxxxxx and p/n is xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Valerie Staples : I just got this laptop in April 2009
Aston Mason : Thank you!
Aston Mason : According to my database the Operating system you are using is Windows Vista 32 bit, am I right?
Valerie Staples : I think it was a 64 bit, but I'm not positive
Valerie Staples : I can get the box out hang on
Aston Mason : To isolate the cause of the issue I would like to ask you few questions.
Can I go ahead?
Valerie Staples : it says Windows Vista 64-bit home premium
Valerie Staples : sure
Aston Mason : Thank you!
Aston Mason : when was the last time it worked fine?
Valerie Staples : yesterday
Aston Mason : Are you there with me online?
Valerie Staples : yes did you get my answer?
Valerie Staples : it worked yesterday
Aston Mason : Please are you able to boot to the window at list?
Valerie Staples : no
Aston Mason : When you turn on the notebook
.Valerie Staples : I turn it on and all the indicator lights come on, but the screen doesn't come on at all
Aston Mason : Alright.
Valerie Staples : I shined a flashlight to make sure it wasn't the backlight and it's not
Aston Mason : Okay.
Aston Mason : Please tell me, did you make any hardware or software changes to the notebook?
Valerie Staples : last week I reset it to factory settings because I was having trouble with SQL
Aston Mason : Alright.
Aston Mason : What are the steps you have already tried to resolve the issue?
Valerie Staples : I tried to turn it on, when the screen stayed black, I shined a flashlight on it to make sure it wasn't the backlight, and that's pretty much it
Aston Mason : I really appreciate your efforts.
Valerie Staples : thanks
Aston Mason : Is that fine with you?
Valerie Staples : what?
Valerie Staples : I think I missed a message
Aston Mason : Please tell me, is the notebook with you right now?
Valerie Staples : yes
Aston Mason : Now,what I will do is provide you with some steps to follow and I request you to follow the steps.
Aston Mason : Can we go ahead?
Valerie Staples : alright
Aston Mason : 1) Unplug the AC adapter from the notebook PC and remove from any port replicator or docking station.
Valerie Staples : ok
Aston Mason : Please let me know once you are done with the step.
Valerie Staples : it is done
Aston Mason : Please let me know once you are done with the step.
Aston Mason : 2) Remove the battery from the notebook battery compartment.
Valerie Staples : ok
Valerie Staples : done
Aston Mason : NOTE: Holding down the power button while the computer is turned off drains any residual charge in the capacitors.
Valerie Staples : I should do that?
Aston Mason : Yes, these steps are given to perform right now.
Valerie Staples : how long should I hold it?
Aston Mason : For 45 second.
Aston Mason : Please let me know once you are done with the step
.Valerie Staples : I think step 3 didn't show up
Valerie Staples : all I got was the note
Aston Mason : I think we are facing some technical issues.
Valerie Staples : me too
Valerie Staples : ok I held the power button down for 45 seconds was that all there was in step 3?
Aston Mason : That's fine, I appreciate your cooperativeness.
Aston Mason : Great!
Aston Mason : 4) Insert the battery and plug the AC adapter back into the notebook PC.
Valerie Staples : done
Aston Mason : 4) Insert the battery and plug the AC adapter back into the notebook PC.
Valerie Staples : alright finished
Aston Mason : 5) Pleasae go ahead and turn on the computer.
Aston Mason : And please let me know the result.
Valerie Staples : ok it's on and it says the storage capacity of the battery is very low and needs to be replaced
Valerie Staples : and now it's loading
Aston Mason : Okay.
Valerie Staples : so something is wrong with the battery then
Valerie Staples : ok it just went off again
Aston Mason : Valerie,I think this issue is caused due to battery and it needs to be replaced.
Valerie Staples : alright
Valerie Staples : I have only had this computer for 8 or 9 months, why is the battery dead?
Aston Mason : Valerie, there is not the only cause for this issue.
Valerie Staples : ok
Aston Mason : I am really sorry to know that this has happed with your notebook.
Valerie Staples : where do I need to get the battery?
Aston Mason : Valerie, I would like to help you with this issue by sending a new battery and you need to pay for the battery.
Valerie Staples : how much is the battery?
Valerie Staples : and am I to expect that this battery will also die in 8 months?
Aston Mason : No, do not worry about it.
Aston Mason : I understand Valerie, I would also feel the same if I would be at your place.
Valerie Staples : how do I get a new battery?
Aston Mason : I will send you the battery tested in our HP labs.
Aston Mason : The battery would cost you $ 114.00
Valerie Staples : ouch. I think I'll try ebay
Valerie Staples : it's a shame that I pay almost $1,000 for a new laptop and in 8 months the battery dies
Valerie Staples : I think next time I'll get a Macbook
Aston Mason : And I will also provde you with solution, what to do after you purchase the battery for your notebook.
Valerie Staples : I can't afford $114.00
Valerie Staples : I will see if I can find one cheaper elsewhere
Aston Mason : I wish things could have been in my hands.
Valerie Staples : it's ok thank you for your help, it's good to know what the problem is
Valerie Staples : and I can take it from here
Valerie Staples : have a great weekend
Aston Mason : Valerie, I would like to tell you that......
Valerie Staples : yes?
Aston Mason : HP does not take responsibility of the products purchased form non HP ddealers.
Valerie Staples : I understand, but HP apparently doesn't take responsibility for products purchased from HP, seeing as how I have a dead battery in less than a year for no good reason
Aston Mason : Valerie, believe me and give me a chance to prove it's worth.
Aston Mason : Valerie, I guaranty you that this will not happen again with your notebooks battery.
Valerie Staples : I understand what you are saying. I buy a battery from somewhere else and my warranty is voided
Mason : Because the battery will be tested by our best experts.
Valerie Staples : why wasn't my battery tested by your best experts?
Valerie Staples : I don't have $114.00 to squeeze out at this time
Aston Mason : Valerie, I really appreciate you for being a loyal customer of HP and I thank you for that.
Mason : I sincerely appreciate your willingness and patience to work with me on this issue.
Aston Mason : I must tell you that you have been very cooperative in helping me complete my responsibility.
Valerie Staples : well it's not like you are responsible for this heap of garbage :) take care!"
