Mama Bear

I've learned something new in the last week. It doesn't matter how old my babies get, I am still a MAMA BEAR. I love each one of my children, and I will not stand quietly by while any one of them is in pain. So watch out, I'm fired up. That is all.

About Loss

I've been reading a few blogs today about babies with HLH syndrome. It's a congenital heart condition, and it has to be corrected quickly because it is not compatible with life.

One blog that I read was written by a mother who lost her 7 week old son within the last week. I can't imagine being able to write anything after such a loss. But I imagine it could be cathartic. And all the while she is speaking of a God who is ever present in her suffering, comforting her. I can't imagine being able to testify about a loving God in the shadow of such a loss. But what a comfort, knowing that her son is whole and well and waiting for her in Heaven. She is struggling with some people who have targeted her blog with their political agenda. But she came to the conclusion that instead of shutting down her blog to outsiders, that the message of hope and faith in God on her blog could reach even a hateful person who has come to accuse her in the death of her son. What an awesome message, that even in her grief, she is more concerned about their souls. Bravo, Jill!

The second blog that I have been reading is by Matt Hammitt, who is also the lead singer of the Christian band, Sanctus Real. I saw them in concert at AtlantaFest in June, and he was talking about how his wife was pregnant and that they had found out that the baby had HLH syndrome through an ultrasound scan in April. They have been posting updates on the blog, Bowen's Heart. This is a bumpy ride for them, and baby Bowen is currently in moderate care.

I started reading the first blog because one of my twitter friends was really angry about what the "intactivists" are doing to Jill. Apparently they are saying that he shouldn't have been circumcised due to his heart condition and that it contributed to his death. Because every one of them are doctors and have read his chart and can conclusively say that this is correct. No, wait. They can't. It is a shame that someone has the indecency to harass a grieving mother the very day that her baby died. Shame. But while I was reading this blog, I remembered about the Sanctus Real concert and I went looking on Facebook to see if there was a blog to follow on their baby. Then I started reading Bowen's Heart.

So I've been sitting here for 2 hours bawling my eyes out about babies with broken hearts, and praying. Because I'm up anyway, I had to wait for my oldest to get home from work because I can't sleep unless all my chicks are under my wings. I can't imagine trying to sleep at night if one of my babies never came home again. It must be serious agony. What must it be like to cry until you don't have any tears left, but the pain hasn't lessened at all?

So as I go to bed tonight, I am saying extra prayers for baby Bowen, and his parents. I'm also praying for Jill and Shane and their family, that they will be able to grieve their loss without the harassment of a bunch of hateful ignorant (insert very ugly words that I'm thinking here).

God bless you, Matt, Sarah, Bowen, Jill, and Shane. I'm praying!

e-mealz!

I just wanted to share on my blog this cool new idea I found online. For a long time, I have tried to make sure that I sit down once a week, make a menu and a grocery list for my family for the week, and then head to the grocery store. I have a grocery budget, and it's REALLY hard to stay within that budget with six children, three of whom are TEENAGERS!

Since I've been back in school and four of the six are either in football or cheer, it has been REALLY hard to make the time to make a proper menu and grocery list. I really try to make sure our family eats at the table together, but it has gotten really hard to get everyone here at the same time. I will try to make a blog post on how important table-time is for a family, because that's a completely different post, but trust me when I say that table-time is VERY important.

Anyway, so someone on facebook mentioned e-mealz, and when I went to check it out, I was VERY happy! E-mealz creates a weekly dinner menu and corresponding grocery list that is specific to certain grocery stores. They even have a version for those who don't shop at the stores they have listed. But they tailor the list to the specials going on in a particular store for that week, which allows you to save money on your groceries! But even if you can't use the store-specific list, making a menu and having a list will literally HALF your grocery budget if you're the type to just wander the aisles looking for something for dinner. How many of us have walked into the store with no list looking for dinner ideas and arrived home having spent $75 and all you have is dog food, oreos, milk and hamburger meat? Trust me, that is NOT a yummy casserole idea.

So e-mealz has a referral program, and I'm posting the banner here in this blog post and permanently on the sidebar. You don't have to click on my banner, you can go to e-mealz.com and try out a sample menu or sign up for yourself. But if you click my banner, I get a 25% referral bonus. Which is really awesome because I'll be saving on my groceries AND getting some money back. Cool, right? Then you can put the banner on your blog and your facebook and get referrals too! WIN-WIN!

(**Use the code "savemoney" to get a $2 discount for your first quarter of e-mealz**)

Insanity

So this is my fourth quarter of school. I'm enjoying it very much, even though it's a stretch for me and especially for my family. They've stuck with me through Medical Terminology, two quarters of Anatomy and Physiology, and now it's PHYSICS. Color me dippy, but I hadn't really pondered that Ultrasound was HEAVY in Physics. I have Introduction to Physics, and then once we get to know each other a little better, I will have two quarters of Physics when I get accepted into the actual Ultrasound program. We had our first class today, and it was heavy. This one is not going to be a gimme. Of course, none of them have been so far.

I'm finding it a little tough to get all the schoolwork handled, homeschool my babies, and actually shovel the muck out of my house as needed. Oh and paying the bills. Can you say stressed? I'm like the poster child for Tums. But I know that a lot of people have balanced a home and family and college, so I'm just hanging on by my fingernails.

New Blog

I'm moving my blog from my old email address because stupid blogger wouldn't let me change my email address. So I'm going to be posting all my old blog posts on here with hopes of adding more to them. So please be patient.

More Conversations with the Hubs

(While watching some reality daredevil-looking show on TV, some dude is about to participate in some kind of life-threatening stupidity just to prove he's a MAN)

Hunnybunny: We're gonna watch him DIE!

Me: You sound kinda excited about that.

Hunnybunny: *maniacal laughter*

Economy Blatherings

So the whole world is short on money, or so they'd like us to think. You only need to watch any news channel or nightly news report to have the bejeebies scared out of you. They are saying the economic picture is not good, that things are only going to get worse, and that we can only look forward to abject poverty.

Then they turn off the cameras, button their thousand-dollar suits, and get into their $50,000 Lexus SUVs and drive to their gated community and park in their million-dollar garage and thank their lucky stars they aren't one of those people who have to worry about anything they just reported.

There is a huge gap between the people who have to worry about rising gas prices and food costs and those who forecast doom and gloom on the television. Now, I'm not suggesting communism or some Robin Hood society, not at all. It's just pretty frustrating to me that we turn on our television and see movie stars and those in the entertainment industry driving their gas-guzzling, environment-polluting Hummers, dressing in designer gowns, wearing million-dollar jewelry, and then running their mouth about saving the environment and some country in Africa. It just doesn't ring very true coming from such hypocrites.

Now they aren't ALL like that. There are several celebrities that use their recognition and riches to make things better for the environment and for those less fortunate. Leo DiCaprio drives the electric cars, Eva Longoria just built a solar home, and Angelina Jolie has a personal goal to ADOPT all of Darfur... It's good to see them trying to do their part with the blessings they have been given.

But it's becoming increasingly harder to just cover the basics here at home. With gas at almost 5 bucks a gallon, and food prices going through the roof, we are pretty much forced to tighten things up. I don't take random car trips, I try to run all my weekly errands at once and closer to home. I make a grocery list that no longer includes a lot of fluff. We're cutting down to eating meat more like twice or three times a week, we're making more homemade snacks and not buying pre-packaged convenience foods. We don't have a choice, there are eight of us, and our dollars just aren't going as far as they used to.

But it's a good thing. Convenience foods are almost always less healthy than homemade. We are not polluting the environment with excess fumes from driving so much, and we are spending more time together at home.

The next step? Well, our power bill notched out at $284 this month. We are on budget billing, so that's what we'll be paying every month until our usage goes down. So I'm instituting power outages at least once a week. I'm thinking we'll take one night (like maybe from 4:30pm til 10pm) and go completely lights out, except for the refrigerator of course). I'm hoping this will cut our usage down enough to bring our power bill down to maybe just $200 a month? I dunno, we'll see. Hopefully I'll keep the old blog updated with our progress. :)